To Autism, With Love

Dear Friends,

To Autism, With Love is up and running (for the most part) but we still have work to do! Lots of work to do...

I need your help! I'm looking for somebody who could help me design our logo (and I'm broke so it would have to be a charitable contribution!) and help us to define our brand. If you are interested, please message me on Facebook or shoot me an email.

I also need some help coming up with a slogan for To Autism, With Love and that's where all of you come in! In the comments below, please leave any suggestions you might have for our slogan and I will select a winner at the end of the month. You will receive 10 raffle entries on Rafflecopter (prize is Who's Shoe's ID tags) just for entering. The winner will receive recognition and some autism awareness gear. 

For more information on what To Autism, With Love is all about, please visit our page on FB and read about us in the information section. 

Thank you so much & good luck!

Amanda

The Resolution Solution for 2013

We have once again reached that time of year when we reflect on the year that has passed, think ahead of the year to come, and resolve to make an improvement in ourselves, in our lives, or even in our world.

The problem with New Years resolutions is that we only make them once a year. More often than not, we don't follow through on them and by the time December reappears, they are nothing more than a distant memory. According to a study published by The University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology, only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolution.

The reality of the situation is that we should be examining ourselves each day and making efforts to improve not only ourselves, but our lives and the world that we live in. Each of us should work on setting sustainable goals and putting a plan in place to meet them. Even more importantly we should revisit these goals daily to see what progress has been made, and where improvement is still needed.

But I digress.

In the world of an Autism parent, resolutions are a year round thing. Whenever a new behavior surfaces, each time a therapist works with my child, and every time I attend an IEP meeting - it all comes down to making resolutions. 

Then New Years Eve rolls around and while my friends are gathering to celebrate, I will be at home with my Aiden. We'll order a pizza, bake cookies, and watch a movie or two. We'll ring in 2013 with the East Coast, at ten o'clock our time, and then off to be he will go. I am not about to destroy his routine for one night of fun.

When he's in bed, I'll scroll through my news feed on Facebook which will inevitably be littered with festive photos of my smiling pals. My friends, dressed to the nines, looking beautiful and glamorous, will be partying and having the time of their lives. I'll feel envious of the fun they are having, but only momentarily because I have learned to embrace the life I have been given. I am content being at home with my little man while everyone else is out drinking and dancing the night away.

I have learned over the last few years not only to truly appreciate the little things, but also what it is in my life that holds value and what doesn't. My friends mean the world to me and I enjoy a night out with them just as much as the next girl. BUT, I also know that this New Year is no different or any more important than the one that came before it or the one that will follow. A different calendar will hang on the wall. I might continue using 2012 when I write the date for a week or two. But overall, everything will remain as it is. The holiday doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me and I would rather spend the night with my monkey than be out celebrating.

Don't get me wrong. 

Celebrations make life exciting and for most, this is an excellent opportunity to have a good time.

I'm not opposed to New Year Resolutions. In my opinion, anytime you make the choice to try and  better yourself somehow, it's a good thing.

My point is that maybe we would be better off making that choice before or after the start of a new year. We would be better off if we measured our success by keeping tabs on our progress, every single day. It's about constantly striving to be better than you were the day before,

Set a daily reminder on your phone, to keep your goals front and center. Write them down on post-it notes and put them up in your bedroom, on a mirror, anywhere you will be sure to see them each morning. Your chances of success are much higher if you have a constant reminder. It will intensify your motivation.

If you haven't guessed yet, I have no resolution for the New Year, but I do have three that I made many months ago and one that I added last month. The following are the things that I focus on every single day and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

My Resolutions To Live By

• Be the best Mom that I can be to Aiden. Love him, praise him, nurture him, and encourage him. Watch the things I say not only to him, but in front of him. Lead by example. Raise him to be an honest, hardworking, respectful man with integrity and a giving spirit. Tell him every day...every hour if possible... just how much I love him. Shower him with hugs and kisses. Make sure he knows that he can do ANYTHING that he puts his heart and his mind into. Make sure he knows how much of a blessing he is.
• Be the best person that I can be - for myself. Be the kind of girl who handles herself with class and grace. Don't be drawn in to petty drama. Don't cuss like a sailor. Do things that make me happy and make use of my talents. Have a generous heart and a giving spirit. Be compassionate to all people and always do what I can to help them out. Smile as much as possible. Keep a positive state of mind and always keep moving forward.
• Raise Autism Awareness & Support the ASD Community! I continue to run the page and this blog for very specific reasons. As much as I love to see our number of friends increase, it isn't a popularity contest for me. To me, it's about interacting with every person who has become a friend of our page. It's about setting misconceptions straight. It's about reaching out to those who feel alone and letting them know that they aren't. It's about new friendships, support, and lending a helping hand.
• Help lots tons of autism families! Being able to play a small part in helping other families this year only made my desire to help grow stronger! It was a great start but next year is going to be HUGE! To Autism, With Love will focus on providing assistance, support, and resources to families in need. I am ready to launch and praying for this to be wildly successful! 

THE CHALLENGE:
Try something new in 2013 and nix the New Years resolution. Instead make a list of Resolutions to Live By. Find a way to keep them in your mind at all times. Set reminders, make notes, do whatever it takes to set yourself up for success.

CREATE YOUR LIST BY JANUARY 15, 2013
Once you have created your list, please share with us through a Facebook message or through email. We will share the lists starting in February and the one we find to be the most inspiring, will win a prize!

Happy New Year to our Army! May your children have a happy year, filled with progress! May you have a low-stress year full of love and happiness! May those who are not affected by Autism, come to understand and accept it, without pity and without fear. May 2013 be filled with blessings for you and your family!

Together, we will raise a TON of Autism Awareness in 2013. It's going to be an awesome year.Thank you all for supporting our Army in 2012.

With Love,

Amanda

My Heart Grew Three Sizes This Christmas

"It isn't the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it. " - Unknown

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. I am exhausted and my back is killing me. If this post is full of typos, is incomprehensible, or otherwise not up to par, please just remind yourself to keep the Christmas Spirit alive, and continue reading on. And hey... you might as well do it with a smile on your face! 

About a month ago, after spending an entire morning crazed with anxiety, I sat down to blog about the source of my frustration. I was feeling very alone and out of options. I was going to lose my mind if I kept everything bottled up inside of me. 

I asked my readers to pray for a Christmas miracle for my family, with the hope of receiving encouragement, prayer, and support from the amazing people who have lifted me up so many times before. What happened in the following weeks was nothing short of amazing and completely unexpected. It was an answer to prayer, and the miracle we desperately needed. 

The first and biggest problem that we faced was not having the money to pay our rent. I had searched long and hard to find resources that would assist us, but funding for the year was exhausted, and there was nothing available.

I was terrified at the prospect of losing our home. And to have to have that happen right before Christmas would be even worse. The stress that the situation was inflicting on me, was making me physically ill and I was almost ready to give up the fight.

Just when I was starting to lose all hope, I met the Perez family, who are members of the church that Aiden and I attend.  Anitra is a breath of fresh air with her beautiful smile and her sparkling eyes. She is outgoing, friendly, and so kind. Her husband Bert is a gentle spirit who has a lot of passion for life. They are a beautiful couple with two amazing kids - Justin & Lexi. 

Anitra and Bert are two of the most compassionate and understanding people I've ever the met. They didn't judge me or the situation I was in. They doted on Aiden who has been asking to see them again ever since. And then they generously offered to help with our rent for December. They couldn't pay everything, but promised to cover as much as they  possibly could. I can't begin to explain how their loving act of kindness touched my heart. It was the start of something beautiful that would change me forever.

A few days later our local weatherman, Steve Stucker, and his wife Rose, asked if they could stop by my house for a visit. They not only stayed to chat with me for about 20 minutes, but they also gave us a check that covered a third of our rent.  I was so stunned by their generosity and realized that their gift would probably be my saving grace (it was). I couldn't cry. I couldn't speak. My throat was choked up due to brimming emotions and all I could do was smile. I was barely able to say thank you. My only regret is that Aiden was not able to meet these two inspirational people. I hope he has the opportunity some day soon. 

With the help of these amazing families, we were only $200 short of paying rent and thankfully, Aiden's father agreed to pay the rest. I felt one thousand pounds lighter. Our rent was paid and we wouldn't lose our home... at least for this month. I know that I have been blessed beyond measure . I am so very grateful to have had the honor of meeting these amazing people. 

With the weight of the rent problem gone from my shoulders, sleep started to come a little easier at night. I knew that in a couple weeks time I would once again be looking for a way to pay my rent, but for the moment, everything was settled. And I was okay with that.

In addition to his kind gift, Steve publicly supported our cause and our Army on Facebook, where he has over 4500 followers. He's a local celebrity here in New Mexico. Knowing that the autism community has his voice, speaking on our behalf, is nothing short of amazing! I will forever be thankful to know this man with the beautiful spirit and the heart of gold.

Even with our rent paid, our problems were still many and most had no obvious solution. My utilities were three months past due and needed to be paid. Even worse was the fact that Christmas was rapidly approaching and I wasn't sure how I was going to get gifts under our tree. I had several people offer to help with gifts, but when help had not arrived with less than a week until Christmas, I began to panic. 

I spoke to my friend Dee, who recently started a group on Facebook called Helping Hands, and she ran with my request. She began searching for people who were willing to help us out. 

My sweet friend Tabby not only helped me out with part of my past due utilities, she also began spreading the word about my situation and asking her friends to help as well. 

Christmas crept closer and all of a sudden, packages began to arrive from all over the country. Packages from people who follow our page. Packages from those that Dee & Tabby had recruited to help. Every time a package arrived, I would end up in tears, joyously thanking God for his provisions and for putting these angels into my life.

 A total of seven people helped out with Christmas gifts and I've never been more overwhelmed or more humbled. More amazing still was that two people sent help in the form of gift cards. And at the last minute my mom also contributed to the cause. This allowed me to choose a couple of gifts for Aiden on my own (which I've always taken for granted... never again!) and also purchase his stocking stuffers.

Christmas Eve arrived and once Aiden was asleep, I turned on one of those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies and sat down on the floor. I did all of my gift wrapping that night, as I do every year on Christmas Eve. With every present I wrapped, my heart swelled with love and appreciation. 

When I finished, I carefully arranged the gifts underneath our tree, propping Aiden's stocking in the front. I stood back to admire my work and was overcome with sheer joy as I looked at the final product. I had admired this Christmas tree after my Christmas Eve wrapping marathons for the last five years. I've done so and felt an almost smug satisfaction when it came time to check out the end result.

Christmas Eve 2012 - All of the gifts are wrapped !

Not this time. This time was much different.

This time I saw the array of gifts under the tree, with a new pair of eyes. I knew we had been blessed beyond measure and that cast a whole new light on this Christmas tree of mine. I felt grateful. I felt love for every single person who had contributed to help make this perfect Christmas possible for my son. The tree was stunning.

This was the most beautiful our tree had ever looked. Each one of the gifts had been given out of the goodness of someones heart. Simply because they were thinking of somebody other than themselves and knowing that made every gift even more special.

Ready for Aiden!

Sara Kirsch DeSoto, a new friend who follows my page, was sweet enough to knit a beautiful frog for Aiden. It was one of my favorite gifts, and one of his as well. We both understood the time and love that Sara put into creating this frog. It's awesome to know that it's an original... one of a kind. 

Tabby's friend Peggy Zmrhal sent a $25 Toys 'R Us gift card so I could buy a present for my little man, but sent me a very cool gift from "Santa" as well. She included a homemade Santa gift tag and a beautifully made card with the sweetest message. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy to have met my new friend, Peggy.

Not one of these wonderful people were in any way obligated to help us. They did it because they truly wanted my child to have a wonderful Christmas. They wanted it just as much as I did.

This is what Christmas is all about. The joy of giving. The pleasure of seeing humanity at it's absolute best. The opportunity to show my child that we all need a little help sometimes. 

Next Christmas, I want him to be on the other side of the fence. I want him to feel the happiness and satisfaction that giving brings. He knows the joy of receiving but now he needs to see firsthand the joy a small act of generosity can bring to a person. Lessons learned this Christmas will be a great starting point for our lesson in 2013.

Now that Christmas is over I can say that this Christmas was both the worst and the best that I've ever had.

It was worse than any other Christmas because I have lost a lot of control in my own life. I am independent, strong willed, and take pride in keeping my life in order. It was horribly embarrassing to publicly declare the state that my finances are in. The stress I endured in the weeks leading up to Christmas was intense and unrelenting. I must have cried myself to sleep at least five or six  different nights. As relieved and grateful as I was when we received help, I feel guilty that people had to help us not only with rent, but with Christmas.  It was a hard thing for me to do, but the smile on his face on Christmas morning made it so worth it.

It was the best Christmas because I was able to realize that even in the midst of this ugly world full of ugly things and ugly situations, that beauty still exists within humanity. Compassion is still somewhere inside of us all. Some of us have to dig deeper than others to find it, but I believe it's a gift we all possess. 

The love and compassion that was shown to Aiden and I this Christmas, was truly a miracle and a blessing. The majority of the help we received was from complete strangers who will now hold a special place in my heart until the day I die. 

I even made several new friends this holiday season. They are the kind of friendships that will last for a lifetime. There is no better gift than friendships of that quality. 

It really isn't about what's under the tree on Christmas morning. The iPad's, the Wii's, the DVD's, the toys... they are all fun to have, but sometimes they dampen the true meaning of Christmas. I've always known this, but now I really feel it in my heart. 

Christmas is about bringing joy to those around us. It's about loving people, even those who you don't know personally, with everything that you have and all that you are. It's about personal sacrifice in the name of helping others. If we all took the time to truly love our neighbors, do you think this world would be in it's current state? I don't. 

Putting my own struggle aside, I encountered many other families across the country this year, who were also suffering. I was able to connect many of those families with people who were willing to help. It was such a fantastic feeling to be a small part of making Christmas magical for others. 

That feeling only added fuel to a fire that had been burning within me for a very long time. An idea that had been in my mind for months finally was starting to take shape and I knew exactly how I wanted to proceed with my life. I have been consumed by the desire to pay it forward and provide the same joy for other children that has been given to my son. 

With that said, I have a HUGE announcement to make.

On January 1st, I will launch a new Facebook page and a new blog entitled, To Autism, With Love. I am in the process of turning To Autism, With Love into a non-profit organization. Our mission will be to provide certain types of  assistance to autism families throughout the year. We will also help as many families as possible with Easter baskets and Christmas gifts next year.  Stay tuned for more information over the next week! 

We have already received our first two donations, which total $125.00. This money will be used to put together the very first Autism Family Care Package and several other items that will be up for grabs in January. To find out more information, be sure to like our Facebook page and follow our blog. I will post the links to both on Monday or Tuesday. 

To each and every person who helped make our season bright, thank you! Your kindness will never, ever be forgotten and I promise to pay every bit of it forward - tenfold! 

I didn't name each individual that helped us, but please know that if I have your address, you can expect to be receiving mail from Aiden and I in the next week or so. We are grateful to you all!

Aiden with his awesome Remote Control vehicle that was sent from our friend Sandra Muldoon

Aiden loved his Glow Crazy Doodle Dome! One present Mama picked out that I knew he wanted. :)

Sara Kirsch DeSoto made this cute little frog for Aiden! She called it a hybrid of Kermit and an alien. I just call it cute!

A gift from one of our angels

Aiden loves to color! Thank you, angel!

One of Aiden's favorite gifts, courtesy of the Rosales family. Thank you!!

The crafting jackpot!! What an amazing gift! Thank you! Aiden was beyond thrilled with this gift and even gave a few coloring books to another little boy whose mom is struggling this Christmas! :)

A sweet gift from my new friend Peggy! <3 Thank you!!

A beautiful card that Peggy made. :)

The Santa gift tag that Peggy made for Aiden. She is beyond talented!

Peggy also sent a gift card that allowed me to buy Aiden a game for his Leapster from Santa to go under the tree! Thank you!

Thank you to every one of our Christmas angels. You have done more than just help our family out this holiday season, you have opened my heart to bigger and better possibilities for my life. 

So this is Christmas...

I'm dreading Christmas for the first time in my life.

I never thought I was capable of feeling this way, but as the reality of my future becomes more clear, I wish we could just skip Christmas all together. The last few years of my life have been hell tough, to say the least and I'm hoping that what is about to transpire is the grande finale. I'm beyond burnt out.


For the past two weeks, even with my own problems looming in the distance, all I could think was that  if I'm struggling this much, then there has to be other families in the depths of despair. Other families like mine. You know. The Autism Families who are struggling financially. :) And all I could think about was helping THEM. How many families aren't going to have gifts to put under the tree on Christmas Eve? It absolutely breaks my heart to think that there are kids who are going to wake up on Christmas morning without any presents.  If they are like Aiden and believe in Santa with all of their heart, they are going to be devastated when he somehow forgets to make that stop on Christmas Eve. And then last night I realized something. Aiden is about to be that child. :(

This will be the first Christmas since I became a mom that I am broke and unsure of where Aiden's gifts are going to come from. Even worse, I find myself once again scrambling to try and come up with the money for December's rent and as we began decorating for Christmas this weekend, all that ran through my mind was that if we get evicted, it's going to be heartbreaking to have to pack up our entire home... and all of our Christmas stuff before Christmas even arrives It's times like these that I wish Santa Clause was real... he would be extremely useful in this particular instance.

God blessed me greatly when he chose my mother to be the person who was responsible for giving birth to and raising me. She always, always, always made Christmas the most magical experience for my sister and I. Even when my parents were struggling financially and had nothing to spare, they always found a way to get gifts under the tree. The Christmas gifts that Santa left were always abundant... my mom has a knack for transforming seemingly insignificant things into something wonderful. When I had Aiden, I vowed to give him the same experience that my mom gave to me.

How in the world did I get here? I worked so hard to be where I was, and take care of Aiden the way that I was able to.  It's all slipping away and it's devastating. I feel like I'm just watching it happen in slow motion.

When I became disabled in 2011, I had just been promoted to a position that every girl in my industry dreamed of having. I loved my job more than almost anything, but dealing with a special needs child and my own chronic condition for over three years had taken a toll on my body and the demands of my career had become more than I could handle. My work began to suffer and everything at home began to suffer. So I made the choice to go on Short Term Disability which transitioned into Long Term Disability. My back continued to worsen and I had no choice but to have surgery in February of this year. I was in agonizing pain and I couldn't care for myself, let alone my child.  Just to show you how much pain I was in, check out the picture below. I had to sleep like that EVERY night for an entire month because I couldn't sit, stand, lay, NOTHING! It was awful.

February 2012 - 10 days before surgery

After surgery, my excruciating leg pain was gone, but my back problems remained and actually became worse. I couldn't even complete physical therapy because my back was so unstable. I started to see a new pain management doctor, who after evaluating me and reviewing my MRI's and records, said I would more than likely never be able to work again. That same day, my Long Term Disability provider called me to say that my claim had been closed and I would no longer receive my benefits.

This was a HUGE problem for me being that Aiden's dad left us in June. I was able to get him to pay our rent last month, but for December he is refusing. My electricity and gas are two months past due and I pray every night that they don't get shut off. My phone is past due. My water is past due. Everything around me is crumbling and I am helpless. 

All I can do now is trust that whatever happens is what is meant to happen and roll with the punches.

I am praying for a Christmas miracle and am asking for you to pray as well! There is power in prayer and I am begging for your help! 

I don't want to put Aiden through this right before Christmas. If I don't pay rent, we'll have to be out the week BEFORE Christmas. Which means packing up our trees. Our decorations. Our everything. I can't help but think it will be traumatizing for Aiden. To take all of his magic and wonder and pack it away in a box right before Christmas seems cruel. And the biggest issue of all is the Autism factor. We all know how DETRIMENTAL sudden change can be for our kids. It provokes uncontrolled anxiety, confusion, and disregulation. If we have to leave our home, especially in this manner, it will mess Aiden up for months. 

Over the summer Aiden had a severe episode of regression. He was extremely violent and was obsessed with death (this was triggered from my dad having a severe heart attack a few months prior), and life just was becoming a living nightmare. Nothing I did helped. Aiden wanted nothing to do with me and was so full of rage. I injured my neck and re-injured my back restraining him from hurting himself and his old behavioral therapist. He finally began to improve a few weeks into this school year and has been doing amazingly well since September. I don't want to EVER be back in that element again and I fear this move might trigger another round of violence.

And then there is my back. To pack and move is physical labor. I can't lift more than 5 lbs without ending up crooked and laid out for weeks. My Grandfather was seriously injured this past weekend in a FREAK accident (his car exploded and he sustained 2nd degree burns to his face and hand) so the entire family is trying to take care of him, which is very difficult. My mother just had foot surgery, my father has enough stress and is a survivor of sudden cardiac arrest so we can't put too much on him. My sister has a bad back and the list goes on and on. I'm on my own and I am not capable of doing it. Even if I manage to pack up, where will I store my belongings? I have no money for a storage unit.

So this is my sad story. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I'm not asking for pity. I've been handed the life that I have for a reason and I truly love it and embrace it. Even the not-so-good parts. But I have learned that when you need help you have to ask for it.

I need your help. I need your prayers. I know that God will take care of Aiden and I if I remain faithful. But as I said earlier, there is so much power in prayer. And there is power in numbers! Please pray that Aiden and I are blessed with a Christmas miracle! A roof over our head. Food on the table. Presents under the tree. All of the things that my amazing little boy deserves just as much as every other child! Christmas should be a magical experience for every single girl and boy! We transform into grown ups way too quickly, and the magic of Christmas gets lost. Kids should be able to enjoy it while they can. So all I'm asking is that you take one minute of your time today to pray that Aiden will have a magical, beautiful Christmas. 

Thank you for taking time out of your day to be a part of my life.

Merry Christmas!

~Amanda~

The 4 Most Popular Autism Myths - Debunked!

When Aiden was 2, we both ended up in the ER to be screened for carbon monoxide poisoning after a gas leak in our home. As the nurse prepared to draw blood from Aiden's arm, she suddenly stopped and turned her attention to me.

"Who told you that he has autism? Why would you think that? He's too young to be diagnosed." She crossed her arms and looked at me critically.

"A team of professionals who specialize in Autism." I replied.

"Hmmm. You may want a second opinion because he isn't even old enough to be diagnosed with Autism." There was a long pause. "And," she said very matter of factly, "he makes eye contact and seems to be very affectionate with you. He doesn't have autism."

I was stunned and had to take a minute to gather my thoughts. "Well, I disagree with you. I don't think that you've read the most up-to-date information on Autism. It's not a one-size-fits-all condition!"

As a mom, I spent hours upon hours researching the subject after Aiden was diagnosed. I must have spent two full months trying to understand what had now become a huge part of our lives. It was vital that I knew what I was up against before going into battle. Unless you and your family are somehow affected by autism, there isn't a reason to spend that kind of time researching the condition. It's difficult to distinguish fact from fiction when you aren't given the right information.

There are so many misconceptions and myths about autism that I could probably write a whole book on that topic alone. But lets make this short & sweet. Here are The 4 Most Popular Autism Myths - Debunked:

Myth #1 People with autism don't make eye contact.

WRONG! Aiden is the champion of making eye contact, but it wasn't always that way. Lack of eye contact was one of the first indications that he had autism. He used to be disconnected and oblivious to everything that was going on around him. With time, and lots and lots of therapy, he learned to cope with his discomfort and maintain eye contact whenever it's necessary. Social interaction is very challenging for a person with autism, but many individuals can learn the skills needed to overcome this obstacle. So while inability to make or sustain eye contact is a symptom of autism, it's not a requirement.

Myth #2 People with autism aren't affectionate.

Aiden was not an affectionate baby. He didn't want to be touched, hugged, or kissed. However, he is now one of the most loving and affectionate kids I've ever met. Just this morning, Aiden came up to me and gave me the biggest squishy (Aiden speak for a hug).

"I love you more than cookies and milk." he said in his baby voice. "You're the best mama in the world."

Showing physical affection can be extremely difficult for children with autism. Some are very sensitive to touch which makes direct contact with others very uncomfortable for them. With a lot of time, work, and patience, bonds and affection can be achieved.

Myth # 3 Autism is caused by bad parenting.

No, no, no, no. no!!! As an Autism Mom, this one annoys me to no end. Sigmund Freud believed that almost all psychological issues stemmed from trauma in early childhood. Autism was considered to be a mental illness at that point in history (we now know that it is neurological), and that would make it reasonable to assume that it too was caused by trauma. Even though research has since proved this theory wrong, it continues to haunt those affected by autism.

There are good parents. There are bad parents. There are parents who care too much and parents who don't care enough. Some kids with autism have good parents and others were stuck with the bad ones. Autism is not caused by the quality (or lack thereof!) of parenting, although I'm sure it does have a HUGE impact on how the child progresses.

Myth # 4 Autism can be outgrown.

Autism isn't like a pair of shoes. It isn't something that one can outgrow, but it can be treated and managed with the proper therapy. Some opt to use different diets or medicine to control symptoms, while others rely on therapy alone. Whatever the case may be, autism is a lifelong condition for which there currently is no cure. Although there are most certainly children who appear to "outgrow" their autism as their symptoms recede or change entirely, the underlying condition remains and symptoms can reappear at any given time.

Autism Moms: SOUND OFF!!! Which one of these myths annoys you the most?

The 5 Best Things About Being an Autism Mom (or Dad)

T minus 5 days & Counting 

Every Autism Mom knows that the Autism life isn't all rainbows, butterflies, & cotton candy. Between doctors appointments (neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, developmental or nutritional pediatricians, etc.), therapy (ABA, Play, Floor, Speech, Occupational, Physical, Feeding, etc.), and dealing with meltdowns, sensory issues, dietary concerns, learning difficulties, social problems, communication problems, and any other crazy thing that might arise, we don't have much time for ourselves. 

There are days when Aiden is in sync with any other child his age and because of that, life is simple, relaxing, and happy.Then there are THOSE days when he decides to unleash his wrath on anyone who happens to get in his way. THOSE days are filled with anxiety, sadness, frustration, and sometimes helplessness. It can be a very taxing lifestyle and some days I want nothing more than to have a normal (whatever that is) existence. The feeling is short lived and I snap out of it pretty quickly. 

They say that anything worth having is never easy, and that applies to parenting a child with Autism. I wouldn't trade Aiden or this life for anything in the world! Even though it's very stressful, there are some pretty cool things about being an Autism mom. 

Here are what I consider to be the best things about being an Autism Mom:

5) The Holiday Feast - More For Me!

I remember when I was a little girl there was always some kind of argument over the last slice of Pumpkin Pie at Thanksgiving or the one remaining dinner roll during Christmas dinner. Since Autism brought Picky Eater Syndrome along as it's sidekick (they seem to be partners in crime), Thanksgiving and Christmas meals are plentiful. My little man eats the same few foods, over and over and over again and traditional holiday fare does not trip his trigger. I despise Aiden's pickiness most of the year, but the holidays are a totally different story! His pickiness means that there is more yummy food for me... and I'm all right with that! 

4) Vacation Perks That Make Typical Mom Jealous

The last time Aiden's dad and I went to Disneyland, it was a week before Halloween and the place was PACKED! There were so many people that you couldn't see the pavement in front of you. We recently became aware of how amazing Disney is at accommodating children with autism. Simply ask your doctor to write a letter indicating that your child has autism and present the letter to Guest Services. They will in turn give you a pass to make life at Disney a little easier. The pass that you receive is dependent on the disability and level of accommodation needed. This usually means you don't have to wait in line for rides or shows. Cast Members will help you find a quick escape to a quiet place in the event that your child has a major meltdown. There are some pretty impressive perks that you can take advantage of as an Autism Mom (or Dad!) and I recommend that if you have the means to do it, do it! No waiting, escape routes for meltdowns, and Cast Members who are willing to do just about anything to make sure you enjoy your visit. I'll take that over the vacation without the perks any day of the week!

3) Life is NEVER Boring When Autism is Involved

A Saturday morning family breakfast where the entire clan is chowing down on eggs, bacon, biscuits, gravy, sausage, and pancakes.

A one hour trip to the mall with only a little bit of whining from the kids. They stop as soon as you give them "The Look" and the rest of the trip is whine-free and uneventful.

A fun day out with other mommy friends and their kiddos. A trip to the zoo, a museum, or an amusement park.

A monthly romantic dinner date with your honey while the kid(s) are at home with your teenage niece who loves to babysit.

Sounds pretty normal right? Well it's not my normal and I'm guessing that if you are reading my blog, it probably isn't your normal either.

Family breakfast is just breakfast. Aiden eats carbs and dairy exclusively, so it's usually a frozen Gogurt and toast for him and I grab a piece of fruit as we head out the door to get him to school.

There are no hour-long trips to the mall. Whining would be a JOY for this mom. In the whining childs place we will insert Aiden on a bad day: angry, screaming, pouting, kicking, spitting, biting, and when he's in that state of mind, it can last for hours upon hours. Unless the trip is aimed to please him and him alone, I do my best to fly solo when hitting the mall.

Outings are impossible for the same reasons  but it's more painful because the friends with "typical" children relax because their kids are doing as they are told and even though most are hyper, they have self control. On the other hand yours is on the floor, kicking, screaming, and spitting. Becoming upset each and every time somebody diverts from his very narrow plan of action. It's a lonely feeling.

Weekly dates are also non-existent because very few people that I have met are even trustworthy enough to leave Aiden with. Truth be told, I don't think most people would know what to do during a hardcore meltdown.... Heck, there are still times when I don't know what to do when that happens!

These things might  all seem to be negative, but one thing they aren't is boring! And really, it's not so bad. In any one of the situations above I have felt flustered, stressed, and outright crushed, but when I look at the bigger picture it's pretty exciting! I've learned what we can and can not do as a family. And when I think about it, normal would drive me nuts! I'm used to our crazy, hectic, never predictable life! If everything was neat, tidy, clear cut, and wrapped up in a bow I would go insane! You learn to love the life you've been given. Our chaos is beautiful and it keeps us on our toes.

2) TV is an acceptable babysitter hobby for your child

TV is the ONE and only thing that has always worked to help Aiden put an end to a severe meltdown. Even when he was a baby, the only thing that would ever soothe him during a marathon screaming fit was the television. I used to thank God every day for the invention of Baby Einstein! In the typical family, too much TV will "rot your brain" and it's something that many people I know shun. In the autism family, it's necessity. I've had several doctors and therapists agree with that observation - at least in Aiden's case. It can also be used as a learning tool, it can be a bridge that will help you to connect with your child, and it might even help the child link his internal world and the external world together.

1) Autism has made me a better person

I've always had a big heart and had compassion for others, but after the Autism diagnosis, I've grown in ways that I never thought possible. I see the world from a new perspective and am much more open minded as a person. I now can empathize with individuals who have any kind of disability, which ultimately molded me into generous person who enjoys giving to those who are less fortunate than myself.

Aiden has helped me to see that speaking is not the only way to interact  with people. In fact there are many other forms of communication that can be much more powerful! He has opened my eyes to details in the world around us. Details that I would have overlooked before. Details that make this world a more beautiful place to live in.

Autism has made me realize that life is not about the tomorrows, but is really about the todays. Today's successes. Today's accomplishments. Today's victories. Tomorrow may be a continuation of success or it may be full of failures and regression. As an Autism Mom, you need to be prepared for ANYTHING, because the Autism Train can be one wild ride! We should focus on our child's strengths and celebrate our child's achievements religiously, no matter how big or small. Things change from day to day when Autism is involved, and that's exactly how we have to live our life. Day by day. You can plan your future finances, your future career goals, but you can not plan the future for a child with Autism. I do my best to enjoy the beautiful moments of today and hope for more tomorrow, but I go with the flow and take life as it comes.

Autism has helped me to find patience. Patience that was buried so deep down inside of me that I didn't think it existed. Autism has helped me to become the person I always wanted to be. Sure, there are times when I am envious of parents who have their typical kids and their typical lives, but if I ever was given an opportunity to switch places, I would have to politely decline. The Autism life can be crazy, but it's now what I call home.

I'm dying to know YOUR 5 favorite things about being an Autism mom! Please follow our blog and share your Top 5 in the comment box below!

I Walk...

I walk for my sweet Aiden.

I walk because I love you more than words can ever say. You were my precious little surprise. The piece that was missing from my life. When you came into the world, I was complete for the very first time. I never knew how empty my existence was before you were born, You, my little miracle, are everything I never knew I always wanted.

I remember the day we brought you home from the hospital. After you were born, we spent twelve agonizing days waiting for you to come home and when the day finally came, we were elated. Daddy drove about 25 mph the entire way, raving about crazy drivers the whole time. At long last, we arrived. Once we were inside of our apartment, Daddy set your car seat on the floor and we stood there in silence for a very long time, just staring at you. I finally confessed to your Dad that I didn't know what to do now that we had you home. We had waited such a very long time for this moment but once it arrived, we were clueless.

Turned out, I had nothing to worry about. You and I settled into a comfortable routine and I was amazed at the intensity of the love I felt for you. I would spend hours just holding you in my arms. I would stare at your tiny little fingers and toes. Your perfect nails were so tiny and thin! I would run my fingers very softly over your face, memorizing the slope of your nose and the curve of your chin. Your beautiful eyelashes were long, dark, and thick and when you would open your eyes after a nap, they would bat wildly and your lips would purse. You were the most perfect creature I had ever laid eyes on.

I walk because I know how painful it is to hear the words, "Your child has autism." When you were diagnosed at the age of 2, my heart broke into a million pieces. I had already known in my heart for quite some time, but hearing the words was something I could have never been prepared for. My world came crashing down as I began to see a future that was completely uncertain. I had the dream, as every mother does, that you would have a blissfully happy life complete with a thriving career, a beautiful family, and a dog frolicking in the backyard. When you were diagnosed with ASD, it felt as if my dreams for you would never come to fruition. 

I know now, that you are every bit as capable as you were before the diagnosis of fulfilling those dreams... possibly even more so. The future is still filled with uncertainty, but I can give you the tools and skills that you need to overcome your weaknesses. I can support you and love you and teach you how to be an honorable, hard-working man.The rest is up to you, my precious son. 

I walk for families living with or affected by autism.

I walk because I want other parents to feel the hope that has replaced my despair. There will still be plenty of days where it all seems to be too much. Days when the realization that your child has autism hits you all over again and so does heartbreak. The tribulations will sometimes outweigh the victories, and there will be times when you are moving backward even though you desperately want to be moving forward. Just know that triumphant moments lie ahead. Live in the moment, savor each victory, and continue to strive for the next. Every victory, no matter how small, is the fuel that will keep you going.