All Star Autism Moms: Courtney Barnum

Courtney Barnum

Wysox, Pennsylvania

Courtney and Liam

Courtney Barnum, 33, of Wysox, PA is this weeks All Star Autism Mom! Courtney is the woman behind the very successful Facebook page, A Legion for Liam (ALFL). I received a nomination from Courtney's husband, Pat, that was short and very sweet.  Here's what Pat had to say about his wife:

Hi. My name is Pat. My wife Courtney runs A Legion for Liam. She is an All Star Autism Mom! She works very hard to care for our son, and to take care of me (disabled after major back surgery in April). She carries a lot of weight on her shoulders, and she always put others first. Please give my wife the recognition she deserves.

Thank you,

Her "Hubs" Pat & Liam

I was nearly moved to tears when I read this email. I was impressed by Pat's recognition of Courtney's hard work and dedication. Having had major spine surgery myself earlier this year, I understand the burden it can place on a spouse... especially when you throw a special needs child into the mix. A Legion for Liam was already one of my favorite pages on Facebook - I love Courtney's upbeat attitude and creativity- so choosing her to be featured this week as an All Star Autism Mom, was an easy decision.

This All Star Autism Mom grew up in Wysox, PA with her parents and sister. They later moved to a smaller town, Wyalusing, PA. When she was 16, her cousin (who she refers to as her brother) came to live with her family. Courtney says that her family "Puts the fun in dysfunctional" and stresses that even though the fun loving clan didn't have a lot of money, her parents never let the kids go without.

Courtney met Patrick (who she calls "Hubs") through mutual friends when she was working as a bartender and it definitely wasn't love at first sight.

"I didn't like him at all!" she laughs.

However, his funny, sarcastic nature, and friendly disposition, eventually won her over and the pair moved to Alabama in 2005 and tied the knot. The couple started their journey together and though Pat had 2 children from a previous relationship, they wanted to start a family together. Courtney had always wanted kids, but that turned out to be easier said than done. She suffered 7 miscarriages and was told that she may never have a successful pregnancy before Liam came into the world.

"Liam is truly a miracle." the proud mommy gushes. "God gave me Liam and my chance to be a mama!"

Here's everything you ever wanted to know about this AUsome mom!

What did you do before you became a stay at home mom?
Ha! I have done it all! I worked at a convenience store, managed a Dollar General, worked at a daycare, was an Office Manager for a Pediatrician, I made diapers at P & G, was a bartender, and a tattoo artist.

What is Liam like? What are Pat's kids like?

Liam is 6 years old and he is crazy! He is funny, energetic, and smart. He is witty but sometimes he doesn't know how to joke and people don't know how to take him. Pat has 2 other kiddos. Shelly is 20, and Branden is 16. Shelly is pretty quiet, but has her dad’s sense of humor. Branden is more like his dad. In fact, pretty much a spitting image. 

How did you feel when you finally became a mom?
For me, becoming a parent just felt natural. Though it’s the hardest job I have EVER had (and lets face it, I’ve had a lot) it’s also the most rewarding.

What was it that made you realize that Liam was different?

I knew from the get go! As a newborn he was up EVERY hour on the hour, crying. He didn't have colic, but he never slept. Hubs and his two kids all have ADHD, so I assumed Liam did as well.

Before Liam, did you ever know anyone with autism and were you familiar with the condition?

YES! I worked in a Peds clinic and there was a boy who was nonverbal. I knew right away that it was autism. I didn't really know much about autism, but I knew enough to know that he had it! I thought that most of them were nonverbal. I knew that they flapped their hands and that they were pretty smart, but that's all I knew.

When did you start to become concerned about Liam's development?

At 15 months Liam started to change. He had reached all of his milestones on time, if not early, but at 15 months he started to back pedal. He would let NO ONE touch him, hold him, or love him. He would scream like we were killing him. He would go to no one. It broke my heart.

What led to Liam's diagnosis and how did you feel about it?
Liam was a late diagnosis. When he was in Head Start, he barely passed his EI (Early Intervention) evaluation. Hubs and I didn’t want to segregate him, so we didn’t opt for EI to step in. He did good as he is very smart, but he wouldn’t play with his peers. He would only play with his teachers. His speech was very dutchy too. Head Start expressed concerns of ADHD, so we paid a visit to his doctor. He didn’t agree that it was ADHD and told us that it was behavioral,.. that it wasn’t AUTISM. At that point we didn’t think it was either, and I was really upset. We started searching for a doctor that would really listen to our concerns. Finally ,we got him in to see a Pediatric Psychiatrist and at 5 years old he was diagnosed with Aspergers. We were blown away. I cried for days, then pulled my head out of my arse, and started looking at how we could help him. We took Liam to a new doctor and he diagnosed him with mild Autism. He loves Dr. Dan Edmunds and so do we. We trust him so much and are so thankful that we found him!

How did your family choose to treat Liam's autism?
Liam received speech therapy for a year, and just graduated last month. He was diagnosed with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) by an Occupational Therapist, but because his fine motor delay wasn’t severe, she couldn’t treat his SPD. The GFCF (Gluten-Free, Casein-Free) diet was a pain, but we did notice changes in his behavior and attitude. To be honest, it was too much for our family to afford. Now I merely limit his Gluten.

How did your friends and family react to Liam being diagnosed with Autism? 
Family was and is very supportive. Most of our friends are too. The ones that aren’t are no longer our friends. I think it’s hard for many to accept that Liam has Autism. He looks like every other kid, and yes, he’s super smart. It seems that many think his behaviors are bad, not realizing everything that goes along with Autism.

What were the 6 months after diagnosis like for your family? 

It was a whirlwind! At first I cried a lot, then I became proactive. There were many changes. We now had strangers coming into our home to work with Liam.

How has your family been changed by his diagnosis?

Liam really hasn’t changed. He knows he has Autism. He calls it his superpower. I have become stronger. I have learned that I need to fight for what Liam needs and deserves, and I don’t back down anymore. My family has become closer. We rally around Liam and his needs.

What motivated you to start ALFL?

I started ALFL in April of this year because I wanted a place where I could share our life. I wanted a place where other parents could come to vent, share, laugh and cry. I wanted to be there for other ASD families.

What do you like most about running ALFL?

The response! I never expected my page to reach so far. It really hit home when I was saying everyday what I am thankful for, and someone said that they were thankful for me. It made my day! It makes my heart swell to know I am helping others.

What advice would you give to the parent of a newly diagnosed child?

Don’t back down. Trust your instincts.

What is your favorite way to spend time with Liam?

Snuggling, and reading. I love to read to him. I also love when he gets in my bed at night and we have our “talks”. Sometimes he tells me silly stuff or talks about his current obsession.. Other times he talks about his inner most feelings, and that means a lot to me.   

What is your favorite thing about being an Autism Mom?

Being part of such an extremely strong and resilient group of other Autism moms. I feel like we are a sorority of bad butt chicks that are NOT to be messed with.  

Do you think they'll ever find a cure for autism? 

No. I don’t think they will. It is different for every child and I don’t see how they could pinpoint one cure for all. I know my son doesn't have severe Autism, so my thoughts on this may differ from other moms, but I wouldn’t want my son “cured”. I don’t feel he is flawed, and therefore doesn’t need a cure. I feel this is Liam. He is different, he is quirky, he is special. I love him just the way he is. If his Autism was taken away, he wouldn’t be Liam.

What are your hopes and dreams for Liam?

I hope that he grows up and goes to college. I hope by then he is able to be in social situations without freaking out or getting upset. I hope that he becomes whatever he wants to be, and I know he will be great! Part of me hopes that he will continue to advocate for others with Autism. To be a voice for those that aren't heard.

Your best motherhood moment?

My best in being in sync with my child. I always know when he is sick, and 9 times out of 10 I know what is ailing him. I can read my son like a book and I understand him better than anyone.

Your worst motherhood moment?

My worst moment, and I am being totally candid here because I don't expect anything less from people in my life, was when Liam was having a rough day and I couldn't take it anymore. I started to scream at him and cry. He said, "Mama! You need to go to the doctor and get some happy meds because you are being mean!" At that moment, I broke down. I sat behind the wheel and bawled my eyes out in the car. I immediately made an appointment. That afternoon my doctor told me that my anxiety was through the roof, and I was put on Zoloft. I have been a better person and an even better mama since then.

What are your hobbies? 

Art. Anything artsy/craftsy. Before I was a mom, I was a tattoo artist.

Any cool accomplishments?

I was in a TV commercial for the tattoo shop I worked for in Alabama. The paranormal team that I am a part of (EMP) was asked to host Paranormal Night at a Binghamton Mets baseball game. That was fun!

What makes you tick?

Ignorance and intolerance. There is no quicker way to make me mad.

You have an entire evening alone. How do you spend it?

Ha ha ha! IF that happened, I would spend in taking a nice hot bath in my Jacuzzi tub, a glass of wine, and a good movie.

Mama Courtney & her precious Liam share a kiss.

Just For Fun....

Favorite Color: Pink.
Favorite Holiday: Christmas and Halloween.
Favorite Food: Chinese.
Best Restaurant You've Ever Been To: The Golden Corral, my addiction while I was prego with Liam.
Disneyland or DisneyWorld: DisneyWorld, my dream is to go there before Liam is too old to enjoy it!
Autumn or Spring: Autumn, I love the smell of the leaves!
Morning or Night? Morning person
Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate all the way!
Fast Food or Home Cooked? Home cooked, I love to cook!
Coke or Pepsi? Dr. Pepper (candy in a bottle)
Biggest Weakness: Socialization. I get very nervous and awkward feeling when I am in big social situations. That’s why I love Facebook. I am shielded by my laptop!
Is the glass half empty or half full? Almost always half full, but I do have days when it's empty!
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I wish I knew because Liam asks me all the time! I can’t wait and bite into it after a few licks 
Favorite way to pamper yourself : Wine! Painting my nails. 
Drink of choice: COFFEE or iced tea

Visit Team Bradley on Facebook: ww.facebook.com/ALegionForLiam

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