The Resolution Solution for 2013

We have once again reached that time of year when we reflect on the year that has passed, think ahead of the year to come, and resolve to make an improvement in ourselves, in our lives, or even in our world.

The problem with New Years resolutions is that we only make them once a year. More often than not, we don't follow through on them and by the time December reappears, they are nothing more than a distant memory. According to a study published by The University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology, only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolution.

The reality of the situation is that we should be examining ourselves each day and making efforts to improve not only ourselves, but our lives and the world that we live in. Each of us should work on setting sustainable goals and putting a plan in place to meet them. Even more importantly we should revisit these goals daily to see what progress has been made, and where improvement is still needed.

But I digress.

In the world of an Autism parent, resolutions are a year round thing. Whenever a new behavior surfaces, each time a therapist works with my child, and every time I attend an IEP meeting - it all comes down to making resolutions. 

Then New Years Eve rolls around and while my friends are gathering to celebrate, I will be at home with my Aiden. We'll order a pizza, bake cookies, and watch a movie or two. We'll ring in 2013 with the East Coast, at ten o'clock our time, and then off to be he will go. I am not about to destroy his routine for one night of fun.

When he's in bed, I'll scroll through my news feed on Facebook which will inevitably be littered with festive photos of my smiling pals. My friends, dressed to the nines, looking beautiful and glamorous, will be partying and having the time of their lives. I'll feel envious of the fun they are having, but only momentarily because I have learned to embrace the life I have been given. I am content being at home with my little man while everyone else is out drinking and dancing the night away.

I have learned over the last few years not only to truly appreciate the little things, but also what it is in my life that holds value and what doesn't. My friends mean the world to me and I enjoy a night out with them just as much as the next girl. BUT, I also know that this New Year is no different or any more important than the one that came before it or the one that will follow. A different calendar will hang on the wall. I might continue using 2012 when I write the date for a week or two. But overall, everything will remain as it is. The holiday doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me and I would rather spend the night with my monkey than be out celebrating.

Don't get me wrong. 

Celebrations make life exciting and for most, this is an excellent opportunity to have a good time.

I'm not opposed to New Year Resolutions. In my opinion, anytime you make the choice to try and  better yourself somehow, it's a good thing.

My point is that maybe we would be better off making that choice before or after the start of a new year. We would be better off if we measured our success by keeping tabs on our progress, every single day. It's about constantly striving to be better than you were the day before,

Set a daily reminder on your phone, to keep your goals front and center. Write them down on post-it notes and put them up in your bedroom, on a mirror, anywhere you will be sure to see them each morning. Your chances of success are much higher if you have a constant reminder. It will intensify your motivation.

If you haven't guessed yet, I have no resolution for the New Year, but I do have three that I made many months ago and one that I added last month. The following are the things that I focus on every single day and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

My Resolutions To Live By

• Be the best Mom that I can be to Aiden. Love him, praise him, nurture him, and encourage him. Watch the things I say not only to him, but in front of him. Lead by example. Raise him to be an honest, hardworking, respectful man with integrity and a giving spirit. Tell him every day...every hour if possible... just how much I love him. Shower him with hugs and kisses. Make sure he knows that he can do ANYTHING that he puts his heart and his mind into. Make sure he knows how much of a blessing he is.
• Be the best person that I can be - for myself. Be the kind of girl who handles herself with class and grace. Don't be drawn in to petty drama. Don't cuss like a sailor. Do things that make me happy and make use of my talents. Have a generous heart and a giving spirit. Be compassionate to all people and always do what I can to help them out. Smile as much as possible. Keep a positive state of mind and always keep moving forward.
• Raise Autism Awareness & Support the ASD Community! I continue to run the page and this blog for very specific reasons. As much as I love to see our number of friends increase, it isn't a popularity contest for me. To me, it's about interacting with every person who has become a friend of our page. It's about setting misconceptions straight. It's about reaching out to those who feel alone and letting them know that they aren't. It's about new friendships, support, and lending a helping hand.
• Help lots tons of autism families! Being able to play a small part in helping other families this year only made my desire to help grow stronger! It was a great start but next year is going to be HUGE! To Autism, With Love will focus on providing assistance, support, and resources to families in need. I am ready to launch and praying for this to be wildly successful! 

THE CHALLENGE:
Try something new in 2013 and nix the New Years resolution. Instead make a list of Resolutions to Live By. Find a way to keep them in your mind at all times. Set reminders, make notes, do whatever it takes to set yourself up for success.

CREATE YOUR LIST BY JANUARY 15, 2013
Once you have created your list, please share with us through a Facebook message or through email. We will share the lists starting in February and the one we find to be the most inspiring, will win a prize!

Happy New Year to our Army! May your children have a happy year, filled with progress! May you have a low-stress year full of love and happiness! May those who are not affected by Autism, come to understand and accept it, without pity and without fear. May 2013 be filled with blessings for you and your family!

Together, we will raise a TON of Autism Awareness in 2013. It's going to be an awesome year.Thank you all for supporting our Army in 2012.

With Love,

Amanda

My Heart Grew Three Sizes This Christmas

"It isn't the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it. " - Unknown

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. I am exhausted and my back is killing me. If this post is full of typos, is incomprehensible, or otherwise not up to par, please just remind yourself to keep the Christmas Spirit alive, and continue reading on. And hey... you might as well do it with a smile on your face! 

About a month ago, after spending an entire morning crazed with anxiety, I sat down to blog about the source of my frustration. I was feeling very alone and out of options. I was going to lose my mind if I kept everything bottled up inside of me. 

I asked my readers to pray for a Christmas miracle for my family, with the hope of receiving encouragement, prayer, and support from the amazing people who have lifted me up so many times before. What happened in the following weeks was nothing short of amazing and completely unexpected. It was an answer to prayer, and the miracle we desperately needed. 

The first and biggest problem that we faced was not having the money to pay our rent. I had searched long and hard to find resources that would assist us, but funding for the year was exhausted, and there was nothing available.

I was terrified at the prospect of losing our home. And to have to have that happen right before Christmas would be even worse. The stress that the situation was inflicting on me, was making me physically ill and I was almost ready to give up the fight.

Just when I was starting to lose all hope, I met the Perez family, who are members of the church that Aiden and I attend.  Anitra is a breath of fresh air with her beautiful smile and her sparkling eyes. She is outgoing, friendly, and so kind. Her husband Bert is a gentle spirit who has a lot of passion for life. They are a beautiful couple with two amazing kids - Justin & Lexi. 

Anitra and Bert are two of the most compassionate and understanding people I've ever the met. They didn't judge me or the situation I was in. They doted on Aiden who has been asking to see them again ever since. And then they generously offered to help with our rent for December. They couldn't pay everything, but promised to cover as much as they  possibly could. I can't begin to explain how their loving act of kindness touched my heart. It was the start of something beautiful that would change me forever.

A few days later our local weatherman, Steve Stucker, and his wife Rose, asked if they could stop by my house for a visit. They not only stayed to chat with me for about 20 minutes, but they also gave us a check that covered a third of our rent.  I was so stunned by their generosity and realized that their gift would probably be my saving grace (it was). I couldn't cry. I couldn't speak. My throat was choked up due to brimming emotions and all I could do was smile. I was barely able to say thank you. My only regret is that Aiden was not able to meet these two inspirational people. I hope he has the opportunity some day soon. 

With the help of these amazing families, we were only $200 short of paying rent and thankfully, Aiden's father agreed to pay the rest. I felt one thousand pounds lighter. Our rent was paid and we wouldn't lose our home... at least for this month. I know that I have been blessed beyond measure . I am so very grateful to have had the honor of meeting these amazing people. 

With the weight of the rent problem gone from my shoulders, sleep started to come a little easier at night. I knew that in a couple weeks time I would once again be looking for a way to pay my rent, but for the moment, everything was settled. And I was okay with that.

In addition to his kind gift, Steve publicly supported our cause and our Army on Facebook, where he has over 4500 followers. He's a local celebrity here in New Mexico. Knowing that the autism community has his voice, speaking on our behalf, is nothing short of amazing! I will forever be thankful to know this man with the beautiful spirit and the heart of gold.

Even with our rent paid, our problems were still many and most had no obvious solution. My utilities were three months past due and needed to be paid. Even worse was the fact that Christmas was rapidly approaching and I wasn't sure how I was going to get gifts under our tree. I had several people offer to help with gifts, but when help had not arrived with less than a week until Christmas, I began to panic. 

I spoke to my friend Dee, who recently started a group on Facebook called Helping Hands, and she ran with my request. She began searching for people who were willing to help us out. 

My sweet friend Tabby not only helped me out with part of my past due utilities, she also began spreading the word about my situation and asking her friends to help as well. 

Christmas crept closer and all of a sudden, packages began to arrive from all over the country. Packages from people who follow our page. Packages from those that Dee & Tabby had recruited to help. Every time a package arrived, I would end up in tears, joyously thanking God for his provisions and for putting these angels into my life.

 A total of seven people helped out with Christmas gifts and I've never been more overwhelmed or more humbled. More amazing still was that two people sent help in the form of gift cards. And at the last minute my mom also contributed to the cause. This allowed me to choose a couple of gifts for Aiden on my own (which I've always taken for granted... never again!) and also purchase his stocking stuffers.

Christmas Eve arrived and once Aiden was asleep, I turned on one of those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies and sat down on the floor. I did all of my gift wrapping that night, as I do every year on Christmas Eve. With every present I wrapped, my heart swelled with love and appreciation. 

When I finished, I carefully arranged the gifts underneath our tree, propping Aiden's stocking in the front. I stood back to admire my work and was overcome with sheer joy as I looked at the final product. I had admired this Christmas tree after my Christmas Eve wrapping marathons for the last five years. I've done so and felt an almost smug satisfaction when it came time to check out the end result.

Christmas Eve 2012 - All of the gifts are wrapped !

Not this time. This time was much different.

This time I saw the array of gifts under the tree, with a new pair of eyes. I knew we had been blessed beyond measure and that cast a whole new light on this Christmas tree of mine. I felt grateful. I felt love for every single person who had contributed to help make this perfect Christmas possible for my son. The tree was stunning.

This was the most beautiful our tree had ever looked. Each one of the gifts had been given out of the goodness of someones heart. Simply because they were thinking of somebody other than themselves and knowing that made every gift even more special.

Ready for Aiden!

Sara Kirsch DeSoto, a new friend who follows my page, was sweet enough to knit a beautiful frog for Aiden. It was one of my favorite gifts, and one of his as well. We both understood the time and love that Sara put into creating this frog. It's awesome to know that it's an original... one of a kind. 

Tabby's friend Peggy Zmrhal sent a $25 Toys 'R Us gift card so I could buy a present for my little man, but sent me a very cool gift from "Santa" as well. She included a homemade Santa gift tag and a beautifully made card with the sweetest message. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy to have met my new friend, Peggy.

Not one of these wonderful people were in any way obligated to help us. They did it because they truly wanted my child to have a wonderful Christmas. They wanted it just as much as I did.

This is what Christmas is all about. The joy of giving. The pleasure of seeing humanity at it's absolute best. The opportunity to show my child that we all need a little help sometimes. 

Next Christmas, I want him to be on the other side of the fence. I want him to feel the happiness and satisfaction that giving brings. He knows the joy of receiving but now he needs to see firsthand the joy a small act of generosity can bring to a person. Lessons learned this Christmas will be a great starting point for our lesson in 2013.

Now that Christmas is over I can say that this Christmas was both the worst and the best that I've ever had.

It was worse than any other Christmas because I have lost a lot of control in my own life. I am independent, strong willed, and take pride in keeping my life in order. It was horribly embarrassing to publicly declare the state that my finances are in. The stress I endured in the weeks leading up to Christmas was intense and unrelenting. I must have cried myself to sleep at least five or six  different nights. As relieved and grateful as I was when we received help, I feel guilty that people had to help us not only with rent, but with Christmas.  It was a hard thing for me to do, but the smile on his face on Christmas morning made it so worth it.

It was the best Christmas because I was able to realize that even in the midst of this ugly world full of ugly things and ugly situations, that beauty still exists within humanity. Compassion is still somewhere inside of us all. Some of us have to dig deeper than others to find it, but I believe it's a gift we all possess. 

The love and compassion that was shown to Aiden and I this Christmas, was truly a miracle and a blessing. The majority of the help we received was from complete strangers who will now hold a special place in my heart until the day I die. 

I even made several new friends this holiday season. They are the kind of friendships that will last for a lifetime. There is no better gift than friendships of that quality. 

It really isn't about what's under the tree on Christmas morning. The iPad's, the Wii's, the DVD's, the toys... they are all fun to have, but sometimes they dampen the true meaning of Christmas. I've always known this, but now I really feel it in my heart. 

Christmas is about bringing joy to those around us. It's about loving people, even those who you don't know personally, with everything that you have and all that you are. It's about personal sacrifice in the name of helping others. If we all took the time to truly love our neighbors, do you think this world would be in it's current state? I don't. 

Putting my own struggle aside, I encountered many other families across the country this year, who were also suffering. I was able to connect many of those families with people who were willing to help. It was such a fantastic feeling to be a small part of making Christmas magical for others. 

That feeling only added fuel to a fire that had been burning within me for a very long time. An idea that had been in my mind for months finally was starting to take shape and I knew exactly how I wanted to proceed with my life. I have been consumed by the desire to pay it forward and provide the same joy for other children that has been given to my son. 

With that said, I have a HUGE announcement to make.

On January 1st, I will launch a new Facebook page and a new blog entitled, To Autism, With Love. I am in the process of turning To Autism, With Love into a non-profit organization. Our mission will be to provide certain types of  assistance to autism families throughout the year. We will also help as many families as possible with Easter baskets and Christmas gifts next year.  Stay tuned for more information over the next week! 

We have already received our first two donations, which total $125.00. This money will be used to put together the very first Autism Family Care Package and several other items that will be up for grabs in January. To find out more information, be sure to like our Facebook page and follow our blog. I will post the links to both on Monday or Tuesday. 

To each and every person who helped make our season bright, thank you! Your kindness will never, ever be forgotten and I promise to pay every bit of it forward - tenfold! 

I didn't name each individual that helped us, but please know that if I have your address, you can expect to be receiving mail from Aiden and I in the next week or so. We are grateful to you all!

Aiden with his awesome Remote Control vehicle that was sent from our friend Sandra Muldoon

Aiden loved his Glow Crazy Doodle Dome! One present Mama picked out that I knew he wanted. :)

Sara Kirsch DeSoto made this cute little frog for Aiden! She called it a hybrid of Kermit and an alien. I just call it cute!

A gift from one of our angels

Aiden loves to color! Thank you, angel!

One of Aiden's favorite gifts, courtesy of the Rosales family. Thank you!!

The crafting jackpot!! What an amazing gift! Thank you! Aiden was beyond thrilled with this gift and even gave a few coloring books to another little boy whose mom is struggling this Christmas! :)

A sweet gift from my new friend Peggy! <3 Thank you!!

A beautiful card that Peggy made. :)

The Santa gift tag that Peggy made for Aiden. She is beyond talented!

Peggy also sent a gift card that allowed me to buy Aiden a game for his Leapster from Santa to go under the tree! Thank you!

Thank you to every one of our Christmas angels. You have done more than just help our family out this holiday season, you have opened my heart to bigger and better possibilities for my life.